Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
