Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
