Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
