Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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