I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
