First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
