I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
