shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
