why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
