Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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