Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
