He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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