but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
