just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
