You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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