Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I deserve this hangover.
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