i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
