Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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