I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
