I want to make a zoo with you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
