yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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