Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
