don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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