So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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