I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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