Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
