grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
