I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
