i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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