I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
