And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We got so high we made milksteak
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
