I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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