omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize