shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
