i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
