I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
