Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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