remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
