How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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