At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
