she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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