I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We got so high we made milksteak
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
