that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
