me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
