You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
