Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
