no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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