There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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