Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
