In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
