I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just cropdusted the office
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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