what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
